#5 (by JJH)

The monocle was the object of constant derision, which frustrated the boy. The denser of his classmates found its peculiarity simply “weird”. Those more aware felt it to be a pretentious affectation and taunted him with cries of, “Hey, Mr.. Peanut!” To him, however, the monocle was an item of practical necessity. His vision perfect in his right eye but failing in the left, the boy saw no need for a complete set of glasses. Glasses were expensive, and one lens would be a smaller financial burden than two. After months of saving money by sacrificing his daily Astro-Pop at lunchtime, the boy amassed enough to correct his vision. Ridicule he could endure, but physical damage to his eyepiece he could not risk. His brothers threatened it at every opportunity, calling the lens, “a piece of gaywad bullshit” and “fagtastic”.

He shivered as he approached the front door of his house, hoping his brothers wouldn’t notice him. However, as he neared the door, the cacophony of steel, wood and howling boy emanating from the shed grew intense. He suspected that whatever preparations were being made within, they were being made in his honor. A sudden crack from the shed confirmed his suspicions.

The shed door had been flung violently open and standing within was his younger brother Erogenous. Erogenous was wearing work boots, leather gloves, a welding helmet, and an athletic supporter (complete with protective cup) over denim pants; this was what he referred to as his “Battle Dress Uniform”. The boy doubted the likelihood it would pass a military muster.

“Laszlo, you queer fucker! Get your ass over here. We need your help with something.”

Young Laszlo pivoted and shuffled toward the shed, understanding that compliance would hasten the end of the ordeal.